Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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