im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Dear god my vagina.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
