Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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