did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
