I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
