it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
