Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
did you just send me my own nude
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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