she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
