My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
