Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
