When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
