she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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