did you get engaged???
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
