remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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