Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize