but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
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