well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
