You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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