So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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