you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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