but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
