Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize