I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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