We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
