haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
