yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
