I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
