We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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