At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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