I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
