too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
