Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
