So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
