you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
