Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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