Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
