I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize