I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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