She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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