I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm too high and old for this...
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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