I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
