I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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