totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
