Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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