I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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