So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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