Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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