so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
