also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize
