I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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