I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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