Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
