every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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