Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize