I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
