I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
