I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
