I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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