I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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