You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
