I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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