Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
