I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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