He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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