I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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