so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize