Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
