I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
