I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
