Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
