If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
